My First Video Blog! 4/20/09

Please bear in mind… I was VERY tired… and it was LATE when I recorded this… Yeah. I’m not entirely sure I knew what the hell I was saying! 

Retardedness WIN! Moving on…

Broken Pieces

What to say? I don’t know really as I could even begin to explain what is wrong. I have been so stressed lately and all of this stress came crashing down last night. Whether it was being frustrated with going to school and working, my personal life or what I’m not sure. I just can’t stand my life right now.

I know, I know. I’m always the one to tell others they have to pick themselves up and work on things to make them better. I KNOW I need to take my own advice. I KNOW that I get what I order from the universe by way of the law of attraction. I know I should learn to just move on and get on getting on.

 However, for some reason this time I’m having trouble. I didn’t realize I had all the feelings I do inside. Unfortunately suppressing feelings, whatever kind they may be, even subconsciously is not a good thing. Eventually those feelings get out and the more there are, the more of a fuss they make when they do. 

I thought that my normal path of being upset would hold true here as well and it hasn’t. Usually I get sad or angry and then the two swap, then lessen over time and go away completely. That hasn’t happened. Still every time I think about things going on in my life the pain is new, like a fresh cut from a razor blade, stinging and flayed open. It feels like little bits of my heart are just pouring out of me all to splash noiselessly on the floor below and the entire world becomes a whirlwind I am lost in. Numerous hands reach in to try and save me, I see them everywhere. Yet, how do I trust those around me when one I trusted so much lead me astray? Part of me wants to be angry. I was to shed tears of anger and scream and yell but when I do those things the feeling doesn’t change. It just sticks. It’s like I can’t get away. 

I’m kicking and pulling as hard as I can at the water, that’s threatening to pull me into its depths and yet I am still drowning. I want this all to end now. Not in a bad way, I don’t at all want to die or leave this place or anything like that. I just want to smile again and have the feeling that it’s a genuine smile. 

I just feel so lost in the world. I’m not really sure what direction to turn or what to do with these feelings. I hate it. It makes me crazy. 

In the end I suppose I am the only one who can change my life into what I want it to be. However, if I know you and consider you a friend and you’d like to try and help… I’m all ears. 

 

That’s all I have today. No clever sign off either.

Paypal Woes

Good day Kids! It’s that time again. Except instead of a normal and possibly insightful blog posting today, you will all get to enjoy a rather foul and pissed off rant.

The topic of my disgust and disdain, you ask? Paypal. That’s right, the online bill payment solution we have all come to love and hold in a special place in our hearts… Paypal too loves it’s customers and feels the need to support us as they guarantee… Or do they?

Two days ago I made a purchase on eBay and elected to checkout using Paypal as I usually do. I had previously listed and confirmed my bank account with Paypal. For this specific transaction I added a new payment method for a Visa CREDIT CARD and selected this as the method of payment for my item.

I thought all would be well and the payment would go through on the credit card and I’d be in the clear. NOT SO, instead of doing what they were instructed Paypal took it upon themselves to process the payment out of my bank account which did not at the time have sufficient funds for the transaction. Thus, I received an insufficient funds fee on my checking account. And AGAIN when a small transaction from Burger King posted I was whacked with yet ANOTHER overdraft fee. This making my account UBER negative. I do not at all blame my financial institution for the fees. I understand this is their policy. No foul on them.

I find out this travesty has occurred when I make my normal Tuesday trip to Starbucks(Which I LOVE) and my debit card is declined, which is so damn embarrassing. I think that doesn’t make any sense. So I log onto my online banking and low and behold I’m wicked negative. Total bogus I think.

Upon investigation I realize what has happened. Paypal has made a SNAFU. No Big Deal, I think. I’ll call Paypal I say to myself and they’ll be able to straighten it all out and be willing to compensate me for my overdraft fees and my time.

NOT SO MUCH. Aside from the fact that I didn’t get to speak to an American regarding my issue I went around and around with an agent and then his supervisor who both insisted Paypal did nothing wrong and implied that I was incompetent. Their reasoning was that I did not properly enter payment information yet I am able to verify on my account that they received and confirmed the credit card as a valid method of payment. When I advised them that I feel Paypal is responsible for my overdraft fees I am brutally shot down, talked over and belittled. Very rude customer service.

I am overall VERY disappointed in Paypal’s willingness to make a situation they caused right. I will be very reluctant to use their services in the future.

If you have your bank account listed on Paypal as a method of payment BEWARE!!! They may not honor your selection and cause you to endure similar irritations.

Just my two cents on the matter. In closing Paypal can take their "customer guarantee" and cram it where the sun doesn’t shine. Bastards.

Hope you all enjoyed my ill tempered rant. That’s all for today kids!

"And now you know the rest of the story! Good Day!" – Paul Harvey

People

People are so interesting. I find most of them fascinating. I have sat in Starbucks for most of the day today and had my fair share of interesting conversation as well as much time for people watching.

I thought I’d blog about my experience today.

I had a 3-4 hour conversation with a man I had never met before who just happened to be a nerd like me. Quite awesome to talk about tech stuff and not have the person stare back at me like I’m speaking a different language.

Next there was a table as there always is of three people arguing the semantics and subtle differences between the gospels. What I find interesting about this is even within the same religion people have such different and very heated opinions.

Then a table of very pretty young women are having a conversation with a man who I believe to be generally homeless. The conversation seemed harmless enough until the man started heavily pitching the need for a ride to a place he is staying in Bristol. After this tact failed he switch to complementing one of the girls who had a stunning pair of eyes. She truly did. I myself was a bit captivated by them. Shortly after this compliment to the girl she turned her chair slightly away  to that the back was in between them. I find this body language interesting. He then switches his conversation to sex… Something I find odd but funny as it is quite evident the young ladies feel no need to discuss such a topic with an older fellow. The only upshot of which is the cute blonde with the piercing eyes keeps looking my way with a great smile. Always a plus.

Again, two of those religion types have returned to continue their debate.

Had an awesome conversation with Matt the manager. Turns out Starbucks has an insanely awesome compensation program. I just may look into becoming a barista. It would be pretty EPIC.

Well kids that’s all for now.

Good night and Good Luck.